I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize
