Small penises have feelings too.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
