He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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