I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
