New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
