Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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