we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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