we're blogging at a bar
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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