her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
