I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
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