so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
