Fine. I'll sleep in my office
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize