So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
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