the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
