Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
