i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
