butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
