i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
