How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
