Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
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