i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize