M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
