wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
