my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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