okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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