the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
