I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize