is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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