yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
