our cab driver is having phone sex.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
