I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
