Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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