At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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