Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He shit in the fireplace
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize