Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Randomize
