NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
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