I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
vagina is talking i cant
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
