my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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