were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize