why didn't you poke me back
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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