She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Randomize
