This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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