New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Randomize
