i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Alive.
So much puke
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
