I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
And then he peed in my hair
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