Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
