I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I understand Curling. That high.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
