I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
