Don't you send me to vm
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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