I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
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