Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
