i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
