Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
