Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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