can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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