Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
