I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
ttyl tear gas
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
