PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
