Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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