party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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