wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
im holly from the hills drunk
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
